Former State Senator Rick Trombly's Letter About House Bill 436
Sunday, April 26, 2009 at 08:14PM Rick Trombly is a former NH State Senator and House Democratic Leader -- dating back to the 1980s through to 2002. Rick, who is openly gay, came out on the floor of the Senate while supporting legislation allowing for adoption for gay and lesbian parents in 2000.
He also joined me that year in leading the fight to abolish the death penalty, and was the deciding vote in the Senate in passage of that bill that year which had already passed the House. It was then was vetoed by Governor Jeanne Shaheen.
Back a few years ago, former Somersworth State Representative Dana Hilliard and I asked him to write the first draft of the Civil Unions bill that we introduced in October of 2006. Unlike similar legislation in other states which went into dozens of pages of legalese, Rick -- a lawyer by profession -- came up with the innovative method of preparing an 8 paragraph bill that simply "piggybacked" on our extensive state marriage statutes. After several other redrafts, it remained a short 1 1/2 page bill that stood any question of court challenge or constitutionality, and became law in May of 2007 with the signature of Governor John Lynch. In drafting the current marriage equality legislation, HB 436, we followed his guide, so we have a simple and clear bill.
With his permission, I am posting this letter that he has individually mailed this weekend to State Senators. His words here are powerful and obviously heart-felt, and his message is a good one. It's a bit long, but worthy of a thorough read. - Jim
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Dear Senator,
I never thought I would be writing this letter to you, but after the Judiciary Committee’s 3-2 vote to kill marriage equality, I can't imagine remaining silent. I do not know if this letter will change your mind; I ask only that you consider what I say when you vote next Wednesday. I know that you did not ask for this issue to be placed before you.
Many of you voted for civil unions believing that once that legislation was enacted the LGBT community would have the ability to form relationships with the legal rights long denied them. The profound change that vote made for tens of thousands of gay men and lesbian cannot be overstated and it should not be forgotten.
It was a proud and historic day in New Hampshire, and it was done in the Senate solely with Democratic votes. A year ago I said civil unions are good enough. You passed a strong law giving the LGBT community all the rights and responsibilities, and the consequences of marriage. I no longer hold that position.
I believe no member of the Senate Democratic Caucus, in his or her heart, is opposed to marriage equality. If the vote next week were based on how you all truly feel about the fairness of the bill, no one could convince me it wouldn't receive the vote of every Democrat. Unfortunately, that will not happen. Some say this is really only about a word and that if the bill is defeated the LGBT community will still have civil unions.
Over the past year as I thought about marriage equality I came to realize that marriage is not really the certificate or the ceremony or even the rights bestowed on two people by the state. Marriage is a state of mind. It is what people feel in their hearts and what their relationship says to the world. I will trade anyone my right to a civil union if they give me their right to a marriage. I suspect there will be no taker, proving the point that marriage is more than a word or the rights that go with it.
An opponent of the bill said that, by voting no, she was not reducing any rights already held by the LGBT community. This “no harm no foul” philosophy does affect people. When Abraham Lincoln issued his Emancipation Proclamation he freed only the slaves in Confederate States. Every slave in the North and in the border states was still a slave. Every slave in the Confederacy was still a slave.
The legal status of not one slave was changed by his action. One might also argue it did nothing, yet even today that document speaks to the basic American belief in equality. Last year I voted for a woman for president of the United States. Many people said the nation was not ready for a woman president Last year I voted for a Black American for president of the United States. Many people said the nation was not ready for a Black president.
Some say the time is not right for marriage equality in New Hampshire. Just when then is the right time to do these things? Some have assumed that every Democratic senator would vote for marriage equality. The assumptions are based on your political careers that demonstrate your commitment to equality, working for those who have less, and never giving up the fight for what is right. These assumptions may be wrong or unfair but you can see how and why they are formed.
Because of these assumptions those who vote to kill marriage equality will no doubt hear from many friends and strangers, in language that will be difficult to read and to hear. For those of us who will be affected by this legislation the time is now and the best opportunity to make this happen is with this Democratic Caucus.
It is frustrating to hear that basic equality must be put on hold for some unidentifiable event that may occur sometime in the future. We believe now is the time for change and you are its agent. It is said that in politics timing is everything. I don't entirely agree with that statement. Important changes most often occur at unexpected and inconvenient times. The minutemen of Lexington and Concord did not choose when the British would march on their towns.
There was no kick-off date for the start of the American Revolution. Rosa Parks didn't give notice that she would be just too damn tired after a full day of work to move to the back of the bus. Did the supporters of the Roe v. Wade decision ask for a delay to determine when the political winds would be blowing in the right direction so that a woman’s choice over her own body would be more acceptable to those who opposed it? Change begins with an act. Often a very bold and unexpected act that requires people of like minds to step forward and fight the hard fights until the battle is won. These people provide the oxygen for the fire.
Like you, they do not get to pick the time and the place, but they do step up to the plate to say enough is enough. The message you send next Wednesday to the nation will be loud and clear. It will be either, New Hampshire stands for true equality and that living free still means something or it will be New Hampshire is a poster child for right-wingers, only adding momentum to their fight to keep gays and lesbians second class citizens.
This vote is that significant. One side will celebrate, the other will not. Where will you cast your lot? Earlier I wrote of Abraham Lincoln and the effects of his Emancipation Proclamation. In closing I would like to go back to that time when a great man did great things. Abraham Lincoln gave one thing to America’s slaves: hope, nothing more and nothing less. But that hope carried a nation through three more years of civil war and then reconstruction, Jim Crow, Selma, Montgomery, Plessey v. Ferguson, and finally 100 years later to victory.
Do gays and lesbians have to wait that long for marriage equality? Shouldn't our slaves have been given justice immediately after the Proclamation was issued? Hasn't the time really come to pass this bill? When I practiced law full time my practice was overwhelmingly domestic relations. I handled hundreds of abuse and neglect and CHINS cases. I have seen a child who was raped by his father with the stick end of a toilet plunger. I have seen a judge stop a hearing to tell the parents of two children that he has seen people treat their pets better than they did their kids. I represented people who were married for two weeks before they sought a divorce and I have sat with people accused of murdering their spouses. How come they can get married and I can't?
Why can Pam Smart remarry and I can't get to do it just once? The fact that these people get to participate in a marriage is humiliating to me. What virtue do they possess that your gay and lesbian friends are lacking? It is humiliating to hear that I am not fit to marry but they are. In closing, I would ask if you vote no, that you tell the LGBT community why you did so.
If you say because it isn't time, or that civil unions are good enough or that it’s only a word, we just don't buy that. If it is because you truly believe gays and lesbians should not get married, whether that is a culturally based or religiously based decision, it is at least honest and it won't be as disappointing in the end. I envy you your position. How many people have the chance to create change -- substantial, meaningful change for the good? Not many. Not many at all.
You didn't ask for this fight but you are the only hope we have. Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. The importance of this issue is demonstrated by the emotion of the fight. Either marriage equality in New Hampshire will prevail or it won't.
In the beginning I asked you to consider what I write here. I hope if you were going to support the bill I have confirmed what you had already concluded. If you were voting against the bill I hope I have been able to change your mind. I don't know what kind of world you will create for me after the vote on Wednesday. I have no control over that.
I just ask that when I wake up Thursday morning I will know that I am no longer treated differently from my married sister. I think she'd like that too.
Your friend, Rick Trombly
Reader Comments (7)
I understand this is an important issue to many however, I would hope the budget gets your attention as well. I would love to hear some of your ideas on the issue of how NH controls spending in Corcord.
Respectfully,
Platy
Why even bother posting at this site? It has fallen apart and is nothing more than an echo chamber for a sad collection of Ron Paul worshippers, right-wing thugs, and ultra partisan Republican screwballs.
Platy -- actually, I've done a lot about budgeting, and continue to. I was on the Senate Finance Committee some years back and I think that when I served on that committee I offered some new approaches toward budgeting that we still do, including enhancing the public hearing process and the way we include more people in the discussion -- especially the dialogue between the House and Senate.
I introduced legislation several years ago and still support efficiency review of state government that includes employees at all levels, way beyond just the department heads. Many employees have worked for our state for decades, yet have seldom if ever been asked for their input into the budget process to suggest improvements of process. Too many layers of state government do things the same way today that they did them last year, and they did them last year that way because that's the way they did them a decade ago. We should be looking for "best practices" in what we do.
I also think we shoujld have a "year-round budget process" where the budget, after approval, is continually reviewed by groups of volunteers from various fields -- accounting, auditing, management, and unions -- people who are not part of government itself, but who can bring new ideas, approaches, and efficiencies from the private sector.
Do you have other thoughts?
I do like your comments on efficiency. Improvements in that area will certainly help. The other target you should consider is state employee benefits and retirement. The system needs to be brought in line with the private sector.
Regards
Platy
Will New Hampshire Adopt Same Sex Marriage?
by A.W.R. Hawkins
05/01/2009
http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=31685&page=2&viewID=906539
"That Gill is involved in New Hampshire’s push for same sex marriage is undeniable. In an email that has become public, the state’s Democrat Chairman, Ray Buckley, listed donors that included the Gill Action Fund."
How dare you call Ron Paul supporters and conservatives screwballs?
Judging from what is going on up there in the legislature, we are all ashamed now to say we live in NH thanks to outsiders who are interfering with big bucks and buying you all off.
http://contratimes.blogspot.com/2009/05/to-governor-of-new-hampshire.html
We now have a huge state deficit, 41 new taxes and fees, and two nutjobs looking for an income tax (Almy and Norelli)
But oh boy, the tradeoff is gays have special rights that allow the government to force more money from others to give to them, a minority. That's the really important stuff, you know?
Seems NH went for years without any lynchings or gay bashing and we did just fine.
But now the totalitarians have taken over and their minority agenda prevails.
People are broke and out of work but the fringes of society are happy just the same.
Shame on anyone that compares gay marriage to the civil rights of blacks who could not vote or sit at the same lunch counter. (notice both of these did not involved stealing money from others to give to them?) There is NO comparison and you should be ashamed for making one.
Sad.